I’m sure most, if not all, girls can relate, if not even guilty to this (I know I am). When we feel sad or depressed, we usually turn to shopping for instant relief. There’s just something exhilirating and even gratifying about buying a new dress or a pair of shoes (or two) that whatever sadness or depression we are feeling suddenly disappears and everything seems okay…that is, until we feel guilty when we realize we have spent so much with things we don’t really need.

I can’t count the times I have fallen victim to this. Yet, for some unexplainable reason, retail therapy does give you a “good” feeling after being miserable. In fact, studies show that “spending money can make you feel better.” The key to not feeling guilty or ashamed after splurging is how, what and to whom you direct your impulse shopping on. A paper entitled “If Money Doesn’t Make You Happy Then You Probably Aren’t Spending It Right” written by three psychology professors couldn’t have made it more perfect than studying the correlation between money and happiness and concluding that “money can and should make you happier, and if it doesn’t, well, you’re doing it wrong.” Indeed, money can buy most, if not all, the things that make people happy. If not, then the problem lies in how we handle our money, not money per se. The paper identified specific points wherein people can feel good about themselves after buying, especially those who go through retail therapy.

Buy Experiences, Not Materials. According to research, “humans are bad at guessing what will make them happy.” So the paper suggests that instead of buying material things that may get destroyed or worn out sooner or later, spend on experiences instead like a trip, a day at the spa, massage, movie, or camping which provide sensory pleasures and create a more lasting and wonderful memory. Buying material things have the tendency to make us worry for the future like: Will this dress still fit me after two or three months? Is this mobile phone a good investment or will it get obsolete just a few months after now? Will this pair of shoes still be fashionable after a while? Spending on an experience on the other hand keeps our minds focused on the present, relaxes our body and lifts our spirits up during and after the experience. Now, that’s so much more worth it.

“Small Pleasures.” Instead of buying big purchases that you may end up regretting after, spend on small pleasures instead like a cup of coffee in a nice cafe, a good book in a chic bookstore or a drink after work, little things that provide or encourage social interaction, resulting in more lasting experiences that you won’t regret or feel ashamed of, instead feel good about yourself.

“Spend-spread The Love.” Retail therapy revolves around the concept of self-serving love, splurging on yourself to feel good after feeling sad or depressed. But the paper suggests spreading this love and buying for your family or friends instead and it will give you an even more rewarding feeling. It doesn’t have to be anything big. A cake, ice cream or pizza for the whole family or a set of nice, little clips or key chains for your friends are more than enough to surprise and make them happy, more so you.

Return Policy. Most stores have a return policy for purchases that are either broken or doesn’t fit. So after that therapeutic shopping spree, try to put your purchases aside for a couple of days and realize if you really need them or not. Do not remove the tags. Do not look or even peek inside the bags. If after two to three days you still feel happy with your purchases and believe you really need them, keep them. But if you realize they were just spur-of-the-moment purchases and don’t really need them, return them to the store/s where you bought them. Shop owners are willing to accept return purchases as long as the item/s are still intact.

“Balance. Moderation” In shopping and everything else, balance and moderation is the key. Just because you had a bad break up doesn’t mean you have to spend thousands of dollars on clothes and shoes you don’t really need. You lost a job. It’s depressing and alarming. The more it doesn’t justify splurging what’s left of your savings on electronics and gadgets you may end up regretting buying sooner than you think. It’s good, and even strongly recommended, to splurge on ourselves from time to time. Retail therapyhas both emotional and physical advantages.

According to a study by Chevrolet, consumerism like bargain hunting and other forms of shopping “tends to produce a thrill greater than kissing a partner, earning a promotion at work, and even eating chocolate.” Walking around the mall, carrying those shopping bags, and avoiding “traffic” especially during sales in malls and stores burns calories. So what do you know? You’re actually working out while shopping at the same time! Talk about hitting two birds with one stone.

We all deserve a treat for ourselves from time to time, not only when we’re sad or depressed.  Passing an important exam, getting the job you’ve always wanted, losing your target weight, or earning a job promotion all deserve a little trip to the mall. And when we’re truly depressed, there are more and better coping mechanisms than burning our wallets.  They key, as to everything, is balance and moderation. Know your limits and stick to it. We all deserve a little retail therapy or a splurging shopping spree from time to time. But in the end, we should always remember that material and other worldly things could not and should not substitute for genuine emotional fulfillment.